Saturday, March 5, 2011

A newt, not a whale. The man who will never be king. Newton Leroy Gingrich, the first (almost) official GOP presidential candidate for 2012.

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by Dr. Jeffrey Lant

To love yourself is the beginning of a life-long romance. -- Oscar Wilde, from the play "An Ideal Husband." (1895)

Your name is Newt Gingrich, and you have the worst possible case of Potomac Fever. It's a well known malady which causes most every elected official who comes to Washington, D.C. to wake up of a morning and see not himself "Senator X" or "Representative Y") in the mirror, but...."Ladies and Gentlemen, The President of the United States..."

There is no known cure for this pestilential fever which causes distress in two ways: it afflicts the person who has it and it also afflicts all who watch him groping with its itchy manifestations. In this way, as we citizens of the great Republic know so well, it afflicts us all, citizens arguably the worst.

And now Newton Leroy Gingrich is demanding that we help him overcome his unendurable plight by making him what in his mind's eye he was born to be....

... Hint, Hint, More Hints..

For weeks now, Newt Gingrich has been doing what victims of Potomac Fever find themselves doing: he has been dropping hints as subtle as an attack of diarrhea in an elevator that he is certainly thinking of... is giving serious consideration to... means to announce soon that....

The most recent of these entirely unsubtle allusions was carried (far in the inside of the paper and down at the bottom of the page) March 4, 2011. Here, as if for the first time, he told the world he and his wife are looking at a presidential bid and will methodically and carefully lay out the ground work... which is another way of saying he's already bought the cut-away he plans to wear as he takes the oath of office.

The fact that Newt Gingrich is without a single supporter (unless he is married or otherwise related to them)... that he is a washed-up has been with more baggage than Greyhound.... that he has already scandalized the nation one time after another... all this is irrelevant.

What we citizens see so well, the ludicrous impossibility of Newt, concerns him not at all. He is a walkin', talkin', sure he is loved by America guy... with the plan for his presidential library in his pocket. (Would you like to make your fully tax deductible contribution, entitling you to sit in a bona fide replica of the president's chair from the Oval Office?)

But Newt has seen the corridors of power; indeed, he was once, when (58th) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives (1995-1999) a Power in the Land... Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 1995... a man who changed the political face of the nation by masterminding the first Republican majority in that House in 40 years.

It was real... it was heady... it was short lived. Indeed, the reasons for Newt's abbreviated tenure in real power are the reasons he will never be president in 2012, or ever, though his malignant case of Potomac Fever precludes him seeing the situation as it is.

Item: In the House Banking scandal, where so many congressmen wrote rubber checks on government money, Newt bounced with the best of them, 22 times, including a tax payment to the IRS.

Item: He made a very lucrative book deal with Harper Collins publisher. This company was owned by media mogul Rupert Murdoch, a man who needed favors from those in high places and had the wherewithal to get them. Just a week after Newt was offered his $4.5 million deal, he started helping Murdoch and his empire out of some tight regulatory issues. Quid pro quo? Certainly not asserted Newt... but his ever-changing explanation only made more people more seriously scrutinize... and doubt. In due course so many of his House colleagues had doubts about the egregious Newt that they got rid of the man who had, more than anyone, given them their majority. That said everything.

There were, too, the issues with women. He likes 'em... as 3 wives, and lots of "dates" can affirm. The tabloids will have a field day... whenever they need to sell more papers... which means every day. To be sure, the nation is accustomed now to presidents with out-of-control egos and libidos (quick, can you say 'Jack Kennnedy'?) But Newt's (real) amatory adventures give (fictional) Don Giovanni's a run for the money. As a result you can rest assured that during a Gingrich Administration you won't hear Leporello's jaunty aria in concert at the White House. Here's how it opens.

My dear lady, this is a list Of the beauties my master has loved, A list which I have compiled. Observe, read along with me.In Italy, six hundred and forty; In Germany, two hundred and thirty-one; A hundred in France; in Turkey, ninety-one; In Spain already one thousand and three. Among these are peasant girls, Maidservants, city girls, Countesses, baronesses, Marchionesses, princesses, Women of every rank, Every shape, every age.

Sadly, Gingrich's amours feel towards him as Don Giovanni's felt towards that maestro.Said ex-wife Marianne, "I don't want him to be president and I don't think he should be." Other published comments are less, well, restrained.

He who cannot forget is forced to remember.

More than any other presidential candidate, Gingrich is about the past. An historical figure who changed the political dynamic of the greatest country on each, whatever legitimacy he has as a candidate stems from the things he did while U.S. House Speaker. It provides him with the limited credibility he has... while providing his (legion of) detractors with an endless supply of booby traps and mud pies. Gingrich, a trained historian and the author of many histories (amongst his 23 books) must know this. But Potomac Fever precludes his seeing the matter clearly, thoroughly, without sentiment, desire, emotion. That is completely beyond those afflicted.

Newt cannot forget that he was, really and truly, just two heartbeats away from being President of the United States. He cannot forget the dozens of politicians whose careers he launched. They owe him. He cannot forget he helped deliver a balanced federal budget, for the fist time since 1969. He cannot forget....

... but you get the picture. He is a Proustian man of times gone forever, the Michael J. Fox of candidates, looking back to the future. He hasn't a prayer (whether from his Baptist past or Roman Catholic present). We know it. He doesn't. Which is why we in America love watching our national blood sport, politics, so very much.

About The Author

Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Attend Dr. Lant's live webcast TODAY and receive 50,000 free guaranteed visitors to the website of your choice! Dr. Lant is also the author of 18 best-selling business books. Republished with author's permission by Lawrence Rinke http://ActionEqualsProfit.com.


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